So much involved there. So many differences. I was so distraught after that dream. It was up to the point that I said I'll go. I'll leave the group and they could do things the way they liked it. :/ There are just too many differences. What is important? If building our team is important I wouldn't stop at any costs to get the best people. Making them better people and helping them revive a passion for others is not something our facilitation can do. It's just not realistic.

And the way decisions are handled are so different. I put a lot of effort and time into everything I do because I believe it's worth it. I believe the people make the team, the trip, the experience. And damned if we can't think on the same level.

Still, I have to thank them for putting up with my demands. I demand a lot from my leaders, both time and effort wise. But as leaders, if we don't give our team the best, how else will we expect them to do the same for our beneficiaries? This is my only motive, not to antagonize any of them or to make them suffer.

While I know my coleader is okay, what about you? It's really you I have the most differences with. I regret this leadership role, I regret that working together made me realize who you are and how you roll and that it made us lose our friendship. Now I just want our OCSP to go ahead smoothly. :/ But how. I really thank Charmaine for her patience and cheerfulness to help us see reason and make the deciding vote.

Anyway Adrace is getting busy. And it's turning out to be the best decision I could've ever made. Really. All the late night iMessages between the three of us and our insanity, making fun of Eugene and highfiving. Hahahah. I love our inside jokes. I love the team. Last night's 5way phone call was epic. Eugene's sperm... Saved the day! Elsia's epic phrase. My goodness. Tomorrow night's gna be awesome. I pray for everything to go well.

On a side note talked to my dad last night. I encouraged him to leave his job and make use of the remaining 30 years to do something meaningful. I challenged him to take on a new direction with my family. To bring us closer to God and to each other. I think it's exciting. It's exciting when you give your life to God. You trust him with it and the decisions you make and everything falls into place. I'm so thankful for the turnout at these CF talks! I'm really happy about the issues it provoked and I can really say I tried. It's up to them and God now. It's exciting to be his messenger! (:

It's just so amazing how God's word is so powerful, it answers every single question we have.

I'm happy. I am really thankful for my friends. Went to Junming's house with koonhan. (: Played tennis which I really can't play btw (:/) and they cooked carbonara for dinner! :D So cool luh, so pro. Hahahah! Anyway it was good albeit a little too rich and then we watched Na Xie Nian Wo Men Yi Qi Zui De Nu Hai. (: The actress and actor was cute. ^^

Brought back good memories of the bunch of us. We were awesome weren't we. :D

God has been good, he has been blessing me so much. And I'm praying that tomorrow night in Eugene's car in the midst of trying to stay awake, that we can perhaps hear his view on religion. (: I pray for wisdom on my part and also an openness on his part, not of a challenging spirit but a true seeking one.

I worry for those who are indifferent.