fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Wednesday, December 30,2:20 AM

looking back at past conver logs and all, feeling all the emotions again.

really weird. confusion, joy, excitement, bold. stuff i shouldnt have said but just did cause, i was feeling mischievous and sometimes. i dont know, if we were to be brutally honest with ourselves and check back on everything we said, i think there's really a lot of stuff which hurt people, which made people uncomfortable, which portrayed yourself to be someone you're not.

and i just want to say sorry, if i said stuff which were not very nice.

so confusing. is it the lack of sleep or what. its just the past- i really liked thrills and everything was fun&games to me. trying to change now to someone in between. its quite confusing i guess. to know when to be serious and when to be fun is quite. difficult sometimes. especially since you're dealing with people who have different views from you.

bah, anyway, what would it be like if people were all fun&thrills. actually, in a world like that, i think it would actually turn out fine. fun&thrills as in, if everyone take things lightly. well first since everyone take things lightly, there would be any serious issues right? LOL. okay maybe i'm too simplistic. for now. i normally think too much. i think my brain is just tired right now.

confused sometimes. actually, we could always give up this pursuit for knowledge. it can be quite thrilling, winning arguments and all. but sometimes when we search too deep for more truth, more knowledge, do we actually lose sight of the truth we already have? thats one thing i'll never want. :X

always, go back. back. back. back. and surrender. lay everything down i guess.

everything is in God's hands and He has plans for us, plans to prosper us. so just live by faith. and love.

brain's ramblings: why is love so important. everything comes back to this. without love, nothing can exist. He made us cause He first loved us.

i think i'm tired. have to sleep. make sense of what i just said another time.

sometimes, i wonder if being honest is the right thing, it IS after all what God would want us to do. not brutally honest, but. just confessing in a sense. what if everyone knew the thoughts of your mind. would they accept you? i mean, everyone else would have those thoughts as well. and they'd be able to identify with them. after all, everyone knows you're only human to have such thoughts. so technically the only difference is that, you're bolder and more courageous, not to mention downright stupid at times. :X

okay i know i said this many times. but many issues tugged at my heartstrings today. (whatever that phrase means i hope its what i intended to say. lol.) and no that wasnot what i wanted to say when i said "i know i said this many times" actually. what i wanted to say was goodnight. seeyou.