fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Saturday, December 19,1:16 PM

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cause we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you, yeah

LOL. this is the song i'm listening to now. hahahaha. i think the lyrics ae quite nice. ohwell.

i woke up today. not quite in the same way. it was as if i was blending into reality. how odd. i woke up thinking, hey crap this is so. in line with reality (which is damn weird if you read my older dreams i posted two years back. LOL.) anyway, then i realised that hey, well. its true. why are you so mean. idiot.

but, BUT. hahaha i met yuxin in mydream. freaking random but, she randomly just saw me as i was running away and asked me if i was okay. man, i really miss. i dont know. people showing concern for you.

i realised why i'm so obsessed with eyes. cause eyes, they really show whats deep in your heart. i could see yuxin's genuine concern (as usual, hahaha.) in her eyes. they show if you really care about the other person. so perhaps. thats why i cant look you in the eye anymore. i'm afraid of what i'll see. scorn maybe? forget it. why am i feeling so disappointed. wth. forget it.

bah anyway. i really miss cedar people. hahaha. i cant wait!!!!

and i cant wait for camp too! (: hey sister, we can has sister talk. thanks for always. being so awesome and laughing at my lame jokes. it means so much to me, that you dont think i'm an idiot. hahaha but so what if i am. i guess i'm just glad i make you smile!!! hahaha.

thanks for all the awesome people too! hahaha. i dont know, i guess its not all that bad cause. i know that i still have friends. (: maybe not in you, but still. they're worth a million yous. (okay i'm lying.) everyone's important i guess. but i think i'll just keep away from you? 100%? so much for that. but, i really just got to stop hurting myself. sorry, bye. just like that song up there.

meow!!! nevermind, hahaha. ignore that. i want to go iceskating/rollerblading/cycling whatever! hahahaha can we go please! please please pleaseeeeeeeeeee. hahahaha wth. when are we free! 24th? LOL i'll be back on the 23rd. eh lets go out on the 23rd!!!! hahaha. we can iceskate/rollerblade/cycle? yes yes yes? (:

i really love my friends. hahaha i'm such a freakingretard. (note to self: smiling at your laptop doesnt really give a good first impression. LOL.) (another note to self: who cares. the people reading this, probably had their share of first impressions of me.) meow!