fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Monday, May 7,2:40 AM

This inner struggle.

Battle between the head and the heart. Tsk tsk tsk, Janice quoting such cliches.

Ah, but just sometimes my imagination goes everywhere and I think its perfect. But I know its not.

Something missing, something I always miss out. This very something that has made me regret once before, made me lose a friend once before. Is there something different this time though? It always seem perfect and fitting at first, then something just tears.

It's just a natural thing I guess, but not too sure how advisable it is actually. What I've been doing. What does it show? What does it prove? But yet it's not like I can do anything about it either. These people do mean so so so much to me. I have no clue what will happen if ever one day, I am forced to say goodbye.

Actually I think that I'm thinking too much.

What's the worst that could happen? I've been through it all haven't I? The toughest decisions, the overwhelming disappointments, the disillusionment with life and people. Yet I know the sole thing that holds me together. God and my family.

Dear God, you know me the best. You know my ways, that is the kind of awesome Father you are. Ever-understanding, ever-watching, ever-protecting. I trust that you know what's best for me and I will trust what you say. You taught me through the years that you are my refuge and strength, my ever-present help in time of need and many times, you've revealed your faithfulness to me in many ways. Keep my mind focused on you, help me to stop wandering and also wondering. I know things past have passed, but teach me not to regret, but to look forward and trust in you. Yet help me not to get caught up in the future, pondering about what could happen for it is silly to waste time on these fruitless thoughts. I want to be in the present with you, teach me and lead me in everyday, every minute of my life. Thank you Father for always restoring joy and assurance of certain victory to me. I'm so honored and amazed to have a triumphant God like you.