fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, May 6,2:02 AM

I just cannot believe it.

This entire feeling of joy, nostalgia, sadness and longing just mixed together.

It's just so hard to describe how I feel right now but it's just amazing to see how much we've changed and grown over the years. How things have changed.

And I miss everyone so so much, everyone has given me such beautiful memories and I just wish I could meet up with them right now and create more! Hahahahah. (: My life journey has been pretty amazing and awesome.

Life is just great, fantastic. Feel like I've been given so much, that I can't hold it back.

Today was real fun. Meeting up with Xintian, Koon Han and Junming. (: Wish Mervyn came though, idk why but I really missed him!! Hahahahah.

I was really frustrated and irritated at first but ah, oh well. I don't know. It's just me, just can't seem to loosen up and let go. Zzz, it bothers me but I don't know what to do either. Nothing I can do but see things work themselves out I guess.

Quite happy still though. (:

Actually sometimes I'm scared I'll get too caught up, too distracted with moving on with life that I missed out the better thing God has to offer me if only I were to be patient and wait. He has been slowly teaching me a lot of things, love, faith, hope, kindness, joy. And I'm growing these past years (not just physically mind you). Hmm, one day I'll be ready. Then I'll be able to accept with joy and be certain that God is pleased with my choice. I know right now, it's just impossible.

Too many doubts anyway. Seems like people must always conquer the head, then the heart. But God, can't you just do the latter right away? Isn't it easier to touch their hearts, rather than to force them to return time and again, searching for an answer that they do not understand. To us, it's so easy to understand so easy to see God's hand in our lives, God's place in our hearts.

Maybe I'm just too emotional. All I know is that God works His way for the best I guess and in the end, any choice will still be theirs to make.

Don't know.

Experiencing this flash flood of memories now.

Sometimes I wish time would just standstill, just remain where it is for me to soak in the moment.

Just. ♥