fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Thursday, January 12,12:38 AM

y'know what?

i think God is amazing. (:

today was just awesome.

had the longest talk ever with Luke. i think he's really amazing too. i'm just so encouraged by him and all he has said. really opened my eyes to how much new creation church has evolved since i was there a few times in primary school. :/

ah, sometimes school just seems so trivial. everything seems so insignificant as opposed to how it really should be. and honestly, i think Luke's attitude towards life inspires me. i think its great that he is writing books to evangelize. i think its great that he plans such evangelistic parties. (:

i'm glad that he reminded me of my greater purpose and destiny. and i know. i know my priorities. i informed the parents of my tuition kids today. 8 hours a week is waaay too much commitment and i'm not missing CF because of it. sure, earning $280 a week is a lot of money but y'know what, i'm going to trust God for it. if it is God's will for me to go overseas, he will make a way. all i know is that right now, he is the focus. he is the center of my life.

and i think. no. i know, that I love God's people, I love God's kingdom, I love God. because everytime I think about him, I can't help but smile. It's just like when I think of my friends I dearly love. I really really feel this overwhelming joy in my heart. a mixture of both excitement and peace at the same time. (:

oh and have i mentioned how i really thank God for what happened. i used to think that we were very similar, except for our views in religion. but you know what i realized? we are so very different because our view of religion affects every single decision we make, it affects who we are. i think its better this way, i'm happier this way. and so, i'm letting things be. i guess some things we said can't come true. trying to be a nice and good person is so very different from loving God. while the former comes out of our own efforts and takes a lot of tolerance and patience, the latter comes naturally. it is easy because we love Him and want to please him. okay i guess sometimes its hard to love people, but when we do, we must remember God's grace. that it is because he loved us so so much that we have so much to give to people around us. if we just try to be a good person, it will get us nowhere because our focus is on the wrong thing. and when we don't focus on the right target, we'll end up aiming towards the wrong thing and that's when failure comes easily. its easy to see who you truly are. it's difficult not to judge because of what you did. but i know i need to forgive you somehow.

dear Father, you know me best. restore me and help me forgive. then help me forget so i can bless. sokh saan was the word you gave. "blessed". blessed are those who can bless. i love it. the single word speaks volumes.