pretty strange eh.

looking at past photos I've shared with my friends, and looking at them now.

they've all grown. haha, maybe not really in terms of maturity... haha okay fine. everyone has a child in them and so the playfulness persists.

but it's pretty strange how it's been slightly less than a decade when we were all best friends, kicking ball and playing catch together, doing prefect duty together, going for class together. and now we're all grown up, each of us adults in our own right.

it really is amazing how people change and grow.

as i looked at baby rochelle today, i was thinking about how alike she was to baby alexis. i remember baby alexis in the creche, and the fun zhiqi and i had with her, me particularly carrying her all around, playing with ariel, ryan and alexis. and now they're all big. and i'm teaching primary two alexis in children ministry.

it's just really fast huh, and how i've grown, perhaps, or maybe not. hahaha. being able to understand my parents' worries and concerns, being able to provide solutions or even to help them do up documents and accounts.

change is the only constant. the most truest phrase i've come across thus far.

guess we shouldn't always fear change, it's natural. it's been the only thing in our lives. most of the time, with the right guidance, with the right motivations, we turn out right don't we.

so much anxiety and unresolved worries about my future sometimes. what shall i take for my major. should i take finance, if it means robbing me of time with family? should money be the main motive? should passion for the career be the main motivation, even.

last night, talking to my parents didn't resolve anything and they left me with a gnawing frustration and irritation. seemed like wherever i turned to, the light was dim.

this morning, i realized. i realized that God's control over everything is supreme. usually, i would go for children ministry but today when i went, my superintendent told me to go for service and i gladly went.

the message spoke to my heart. Hebrews 11:8. about Abraham going where God had called him to, a place of his inheritance, even though he didn't know exactly where to go. all Abraham knew was that God called him to go, just go. Rev George Ong said, 'life for a Christian isn't supposed to be smooth-sailing. it is meant to be like the flight of an F-16 airplane, doing double turns in the air and rolls. never ever like a commercial airline.'

i felt God telling me, it's okay to be blind. it's okay not to know. He assured me that I'm on the right path, just gearing myself up to go. that the moment He says go, i'll be ready and willing to throw down my own hopes and desires and just go to pursue His. that is what He created me for. gifted with a strong faith and trust in Him, so that I didn't need to worry about where I'm going to go, or what I'm going to take, because God has a greater plan for me. and when He calls, I will respond.

it's not just going to be plain, boring, but surely it won't be easy. He has called each of us for greater things, which will be our inheritance. we need to pray the prayer of faith, to declare God's control over each situation. He promised us nations.

Isn't that amazing? Hahaha, Praise the Lord. (: God is truly indescribable, unfathomable.

and the ending song, it just touched my heart so deeply. because it spoke of a promise. a promise of the comfort of His presence, even in the midst of storm. a promise of victory over all, that we may soar above these little troubles of the world. all i needed to do in exchange was to simply be still. and know that He is God.

Hide me now, under Your wings.
Cover me, within Your mighty hands.
When the Oceans rise and Thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father You are King over the floods,
I will be still, know You are God.

Amen. Our God is an Awesome God.