fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, April 1,6:23 PM

Weekends, should be spent with family.

Friday nights, should be spent with friends.

Hmm, guess I need to work on time management next semester.

Definitely taking up a lot less next sem and just gna rest in God's presence at all times! (:

In church today, had the BBGB coming over for enrolment. Gosh, so noisy! Hahahah but kids will be kids. Loved leading the games actually. The rahrah-ing and the cheering them on. (: Hahahahah. Love these kids. I think my CM kids were kinda intimidated by the BBGB though!

Oh wells, had a nice lunch with my P2s. I love these children, simply adorable. I love their sweet innocence. I love how they keep trying to make fun of me. Hahahaha. Whenever I think of them, I just get these really sweet 'Awwww' and feel this tug at my heart.

Had project meeting later on. Projects are well, projects. But was nice talking to Paul. He is so darn cool with all his accents! Hahahah, it kinda awake this kid in me who loved accents. He was soooo good at them. Impressed. (: Realized too that he has damn nice long eyelashes and nice eye color too. Hahahahahah, omg k nevermind. Oops.

Anyway so now I'm at the very same spot in SOE pondering over life again. See the same lifeless guy that made me sad a month or so ago. Looks like he's wearing the same sweater and slippers. Same slouch, same shuffle. Aiyo.

I don't know. I actually enjoy my projects though. (: It's quite fun right? Love my project group mates. Most of them, except when they hand in poor quality work. Zzzz. Oh well, what can I do.

Isn't she lovely, made from love?

Aww <3 this song. I miss my Ascension kids! Hahahahah. Actually I think I am pretty pleased with SMU leh. Hahahah, feel like what I do here could possibly be more significant because it's like an un-reaped harvest, y'know.

Heheheh, so happy. Sitting here listening to old songs in my iTunes that I've never heard before, or even just songs which have a deeper meaning for me. Haha.

I'll always think of you and smile, and be happy for the time I had you with me. And though we go our separate ways, I won't forget so don't forget the memories we made.

I don't know. Think I have so many wonderful moments and memories with the people in my life. Think my life is wonderful. Isn't it strange? How we've made it this far? Remember when we were younger? When we didn't know anything and all we cared about was having fun, was each other. I love that simplicity.

And actually now isn't too bad. When I look back on everything, I'd say things are going pretty well.

It's amazing yeah, what a smile can do. Heheheh, just smiled at a cleaner and gave him a smile too.

Think the world is beautiful.

Remember my rant that day.

I guess, I just need some space from you now. So sorry. I know you thought I would be a good friend. Sorry for my rant previously. I just... was in a bad mood maybe. It can't excuse my behavior. I am truly sorry, shouldn't have done it. So confused when I think about it actually. Hmm. You're right, it is awkward initially. But I guess it gets better after a while. You knew my answer anyway, you answered it on your own in the end. At least I made myself clear. Thanks for trying, but I always told you how much Christianity means to me right? Oh well enough about that. Don't think what to think or how to feel. Just need to get over my irritation I guess. It wasn't like that all the time right? ._. Ah, we'll see. Actually I know how it'll end. I'll just say bye. :/ First time I ever felt this though. How did I lose my respect for you. Oh no. ): I don't know what I'm thinking or doing. Sian. I am making this worse, aren't I. I can't seem to sort out my thoughts though. Don't know why. I can't pretend.

Dear God, what happened. Why is it that I feel this impatience for my friend. Why is it that I feel irritated when I see people being unresponsive or like being slow. It's so unfair, it's terrible for me to judge people that way. It's so haughty and arrogant. Dear Father, teach me Lord. Teach me to humble myself. Teach me to be like you. Like how when you came down to earth, you saw us in our sinfulness and our foolishness and yet you loved us. How did you love us when we were so imperfect, when we were so unlovely, when we were disgusting, repulsive and full of sin. How? I cannot comprehend. Forgive me for my arrogance in thinking that I'm smarter than or better than my friend. Give me the heart of compassion. Give me the understanding of how someone can be so restrained in his thoughts to just follow what other people tell him to do. Help me to stop thinking of him as just sad or tragic. That's utterly cruel and evil. I don't know how to stop these negative feelings. It's horrible. Help me plz plz plz. Don't know what I want to do next. Be with me. Teach me to be patient and gentle. Give me an overflow of joy and love, that I can bless others.

Okay. I don't know right now. Maybe I should just go. I'm so confused.