fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, March 4,5:50 PM

At SOE on a Sunday cause my parents went shopping for a Mac nearby.

Feel kinda sad now.

Sitting at the level 5 benches closer to the washrooms and there have been people lumbering past me. Like a mindless, soulless person. A study machine or something. A robot that churns out perfect answers perhaps.

These people look like they stay here. These people look miserable, exhausted. And I wonder if I look like that when I stayed over previously. I never ever want to become like that. :/ And I feel so much upset that they don't realize how much more there is to life.

I think this has been a line that I've been repeating for a while. To friends, to parents, to myself.

I was questioning myself what should I major in. I was saying I'm not sure about Finance because it's just so mindless. It's just insane. Working 18 hours a day? Really? Is the money worth it?

My parents say I still don't know the sweat and tears needed to earn such money, to support your family, to pay your bills. I guess that's true. I am trying to understand. Does that mean I have no choice then? I know starting out at work won't be easy and I'll have to prove myself and my abilities, and I know I put pride into my work and I will surely be able to fulfill this. But I really really don't want to start forsaking things I love the most - family, friends. I would really rather be poor than lose them. But then again, I'm not being realistic. Hopefully my friends won't leave me when I'm poor and needy? Nah, if that really happens I guess I'll be losing quite a few friends.

But yesterday my friend was saying that he doesn't understand how some people actually live without friends and asked me if I would be able to give up my friends. And I said yes. Well, if my friends all turn against God and harden their hearts against the truth, I guess I'll keep trying. But in the end, there's a limit to how much we can do.

Okay anyway, I'm just rambling here. Shucks, I hope I'm not like one of those dead lifeless guys. O_O