fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Monday, February 20,11:16 PM

Sian. ):

Okay had a break today. Went home straight after 830 class ended at 1200. Meetings all cancelled. So tired seriously, went home to sleep for 5 hours straight. ._.

Yeah, but anyways back to being sian. I think I really need to stop being so snappy. Sometimes, the way people say stuff just irritate me and I snap right back at them with a very cold message. I think I do express my irritation very well and people have been able to pick that up. Then later I realized how mean that sounds and I have to apologize for it. I hate it. Sometimes people just take it for granted. Just, gimme me a break.

Just so so so sianed about how things are working out. ._. Seems like we're all pretty unhappy to be doing this project together, which sucks cause it's a pretty long commitment. But yeah, sometimes I don't know if I'm too sensitive but my leader sounds really spiteful sometimes. Like he's just out to make me look bad, or look dumb. ._. I was just asking about whether the utensils were safe for the Muslims in our group to use, why even bother commenting on the terminology. Sure, there's no such thing as Halal utensils, but that's not my point, so why even bother? Why say that? And I was just kidding when I said I'm in Biking Team's FB group so I am entitled to join them for Welfare. What's wrong with that? I might not be regular, I might not even have gone but I paid up to be a SMUX member, didn't I? Why are you even being so mean about it? ):

This is so sad. I pulled you in to our team cause I thought we'd be able to work together. Turns out that it's really not so easy working with each other and I really regret how it has destroyed any hint of friendship. It's really strange for us y'know, being in the same class and yet not acknowledging each other. Preferring to talk to a stranger rather than each other.

I hate it. Why put each other down. It's not worth it. I don't want to sacrifice our team leadership. I want to sort it out somehow. I hate acting like we're totally fine with each other when we can't even be bothered or even want to talk to each other. But I don't even know where to start. Cause for the first time, I don't even know what is it that makes me so pissed off and so disappointed about you. Maybe it's just another realization that it hurts when someone means more to you than you, to them. And it just sucks so badly that I'm feeling it again.

I don't know anymore. Where am I to go from here. I'm so exhausted. From tomorrow onwards, my schedule is packed full from 8am to 10pm. Every single day. How on earth am I going to do this?

I hate a lot of stuff that's going on right now. But most of all, I hate losing such a good friend as you. CGF. Teapot. Sister. All these mean(t) nothing. Ugh.

How do I reconcile this.