fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, December 4,12:45 PM

Dear Father,

What do you think of me? Do you think I'm fine?

I think too much. I can no longer see if I am truly alright or not. And that is scaring me. Going overseas, what if I lose it? Shall need to put everything in my life right before I leave. Sigh.

I don't even know what that quarrel was about. Don't know what I was so cocky about. My parents love me the most. Why would I say such a thing.

Father you said to Obey your parents so that they will live long in this world. And I pray that you forgive my disrespect and dishonor to them. I love them, I really do. And I thank you for them, for their love each day and for my love for them.

Help me Lord to regain that sensitivity to Your Spirit's prompting. I think what unsettled me the most was the fact that I didn't feel that saying that was wrong at the moment. Now I'm just filled with regret. I want to be close to you so I can hear your voice, unlike just now and I can obey your commands, unlike just now. I love to be your child. I love to please you and feel your pleasure when I do something according to your will. I feel you patting me on the head and smiling. I want that again.

So father though I'm leaving Singapore I know I cannot leave you behind so I ask for your holy spirit to come into my heart again and be with me. Rest upon me your sweet presence each day as we seek to bless Vietnam with your love.

I pray you keep my family and friends in Singapore safe and happy. Give them joy and peace in all they do and stay close to them. Be their close friend just as you were to me.

And also be my close friend as I go to Vietnam. I commit our team into your hands. Watch over us and keep us safe from harm. Help us all to be forbearing and forgiving towards each other. I thank you for your blessings and this opportunity.

I think I am okay. Thank you father for your assurance. The anxiety is gone.

I love you Lord.
And I lift my voice
To worship you.
O my soul, rejoice.

Take joy my King
In what you hear.
And may it be a sweet
sweet sound in your ears.

Love you! ((:

11:54 AM

So. Leaving church to find God. The irony.

Guess there's just no place I can think of in the church that will give me space to meet with God I guess.

I'm tired.

Saturday, December 3,5:35 PM

Guess what!

Hahahaha I'm at Weiyan's house right now. And so things worked out after all. (: Life's been pretty good and slack and fun. :D Heehee. Kz.

But yeah!! I am gonna be leaving Singapore in another two days and r gna miss my family so much. Hope I don't get homesick though.

On another note, my OCSP leaders are superb seriously. I want to follow in their footsteps but not sure how that works out since GP is uh... well all I can say is that he has this amazing Adam Khoo way of changing the room's atmosphere. ._. It's really good. No idea how...

Okay so this is it. This is me giving my best shot. Let's have fun and let yourself go. A little nervous but I know everyone's nice. ((: Anticipation mingled with nerves lah. Heheheh.

Help me through. Father, stay close to me in such a foreign land please.