fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Monday, May 26,8:44 PM

hey(:

class BBQ coming soon! so excited! yay:D

8:44 PM

hello!(:

its monday, 26th may. and i just went for ACSI IB open house. :D

i'm kinda bored. hahaha. dont know what's everyone else doing now.

everyone that i want to talk to is offline. then i realise i dont really want to talk to anyone.
everyone that i want to be with is not with me. and i realise i dont really want to be with anyone.
everyone that i want to go out with did not ask me out. then i realise i dont really want to go out.
everyone that i wish was there for me wasnt there for me. then i realise..

that i'm uttering nonsense. i'm seriously bored. hahaha.

hey but its true okay. i recently found out that i've lost interest in lotsa stuff. i love my class and i want class bbq to come sooooooon! my class is one thing i still love. and in fact i love my class more than ever. hahahah. i tell you, 4C ppl are all abnormal one. 'right hannah?' and i'm normal!
my grad is -1over that of the tgt and homeostasis happens so that the body conditions are regulated back to me. :D okay, fine. i'm a little abnorm. but that's where the fun lies right? :D

HAHA.

my nick today:
and when you mentioned 'we';
i kinda liked the way you said it, much more than i should. --stop it, janice.

hahahah. sounds like a sentence from a love story. hahaha.

(oh, but it is. i'm not that creative! :D its from twilight. haha)

oh, someone. ENTERTAIN ME. entertain me, i say. i miss, smiling. i miss, being amused. i miss, laughing. i want to go back to school, to be with my class.

how do i feel.(i feel like no one cares)
why do i feel this way.(cos no one bothers to ____________________;catch a falling star)
how can you justify this.(________________________________________________)

wth is wrong with me. why am i doing TOK. oh gosh, IBDP stop being a leader and influencing me!
i think, therefore i am.
if i am so negative, why dont my excess electrons get transferred away? oh gosh.
get out of me, all you electrons. let me be positively charged and never be discharged again!

Thursday, May 22,8:43 PM

and got back report card today.

i know that i DEFINITELY did not do my best, i did not work hard enough and i was COMPLACENT (like i was studying BIO the whole night and ignored AM.
so i deproved from A1 to B3! janice, you deserved it. so work harder next time!)

my BIO was okay i guess. was an A1 but i'm sure i could have gotten like 85 or 90marks if had studied the last few chapt properly. EM was just surprising. chinese was definitely disappointing.

i wrote chiniese compo on topic of an incident where a group worked tgt to achieve sth. so i said i was a raindrop who gathered everyone to rain on the drought area. but teacher marked me as out of point and gave me 8 out of 35 for content. so overall paper one was 41/90. so sad.

ss/g improved, no longer 50. but B4. so happy i cried. but actually b4 is lousy so ppl thought i disappointed till i cry. like -.- next up, A2!

then eng was disappointing too. B3.

phy got my A1 but was on the borderline, could've gotten better if i practiced harder.

chem was SAD. i studied super super hard and all my tests results were very good so thought would get an A2 at least. hah, who knew. 57marks. only. ROAR. like super disappointed. nvm, for ms chng and myself, will study harder!

overall, L1R5 was bad. only a 13 which deproved from 11 in last yr EYE. due to ENG(b3), ss/g (b4) and AM(b3) so A1 for both AM and ENG. you can do it janice!!!(: hehehe

8:43 PM

my latest MSN nick:
with your slightest smile; my heart goes crazy. i think i'm obsessed with you. --stop it, janice.

hahahah. so funnaye. i'm super in love with goong okay. SHIN-goon rocks((: ahhhhh, i love. the show rocks! omg omg. cant get over it. so i'm feeling quite IN LOVE lately. hahaha.

i'm super amused by aerilynn lah. HAHA.
Aerilynn :] says:
hey, u've been logistics b4 issit?
with your slightest smile; says:
yes yes.
with your slightest smile; says:
when i was your age......
Aerilynn :] says:
oh hahaok
with your slightest smile; says:
hahahahah, alme...
Aerilynn :] says:
wah you said like u very old
with your slightest smile; says:
*lame.
with your slightest smile; says:
yes, i know!!!!
Aerilynn :] says:
only 2 years ago ==
Aerilynn :] says:
xD
with your slightest smile; says:
wow, i didnt know those words could express my tone of voice!
Aerilynn :] says:
HAHA
Aerilynn :] says:
don't flatter yourself
Aerilynn :] says:
it's cos I've got good inference skills u know...
Aerilynn :] says:
> <
with your slightest smile; says:
oh, like please.
with your slightest smile; says:
hahahah

anw, wed was quite a sad and devastating day. ):
two of cca teachers are leaving!!!!
when you gave me the choc, you went. 'thank you my little mouse. no no no no, janice..' hey, you. (: nvm. thank you so much for all you've done. CMC will miss you to BITS! i will.. ahhhh, dont go lah.

mrs peh ah!! dont go also. ): hahaha.
that day in class. you were like 'janice, what are you smiling at? i cannot decipher all your smiles and.. your frowns.. i thiink they will haunt me at night.' like ?!?! what?! hahaha. anw, mrs peh is so so so cute omg. just when i start to find her nice then she go. like )))): ah, i miss you.

i also had to make an announcement in front of the whole school which is freaky. hahha, but i did okay...

and also next day, was so afraid at the understudies reactions when we would announce the results.. so worried that someone will be disappointed. anw, i really think ALL the understudies did a good job. so thanks!!! hehehe.

Saturday, May 10,9:24 AM

EXAMS
sorfor ryfy. everyone for not updating. hoho.(:

so glad exams are like over!!! now to study for prelims!! hahahha, joking. 'aiyo, stop throwing tomatos already! i said, joking! hahah'

you know how freaky it was during ss paper. i was like freaking out. like so luan in my heart, even though no one probably could see. hahah. you know cos last year my ss got 25/50. geog got 25/50. so total humans: 50/100. thats for EYE. then MYE also 50/100. overall grade is 50/100. so this year i aimed for above 50! hahaha, actually B3 lah. but after exams i told yuxin hehehe, i think will get 51. and after telling aonan, she added. wait later, its 50.5 hahah.

anyway, like so totally glad its OVER(: cos its like i tried my best right? imean. nvm, good job janice. i'm super proud of you. A1 for everything for prelims! hahaha.

but anw, felt quite relieved after exams(: but no one ask me out. so a group of losers (hehehhe.) who was not invited by anyone, invited each other out! hahahha. but it was fun. thank you all(:

9:24 AM

JC
i am so bored after exams. i want school. i miss ms chng and ms tan and all my cute, funny nice teachers(:

and had 3 JC talks. ACS(I), VJC and HCI. (accord to my order)

will want to go IB. for simple reasons. go figure it out. hahaha. i can alr think of like 5reasons. nvm.
eh. koko (brother, as in joseph), i will follow in your IB footsteps like hahaha. 26may(:

if not i'll go VJC. hahaha. join the NAV (NUS-A*STAR-VJC) science research prog. thing.

have been really thinking hard about what i want to be when i grow up. possibly, science research? or nanotech? sth science bah. since i'm triple science and coping ok with sciences. see how.

in any case... (:

last year alr, just bear the 'loneliness' right? hahah. friends are closer to their books or other friends but still got my books too. and my best friend right? -winks- heh.