do we have chem lab now or is it lessons?

nvm, off the light and go there first then see how.

ms chng enters the scene and says, 'eh? why so dark ah?'

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, so super cute(: hahah.

and mrs chew's 'eh, _______ so who you like ah? what you like to watch?' and ppl come up with funny answers. and we ask her back, 'mrs chew who you like ah? fei lun hai ah!' hahaha. mrs chew is one of the hippest mothers i have ever seen. so funnaye.

mrs loy's 'eh, why you take down those photos?' 'erm, cos not related to humanities what.'
her reply: but its human environment; human geog what. (trust her to come up with that. hahaha)

mr goh's 'err, your leadership journals?'

mrs peh's english oral training package where one guy added in part of a song. 'if singapore does not reclaim land, while the population grows, it will indeed be a small world after all'

mr chan's 'aiyah, you all dont look so sad lah okay. next week lah, next week we play games. really lah, aiya we got no time alr.' (and he looked so distressed. how fatherly(: )

ms tan's 'so girls ah, dont get involved at a young age okay. NE rep.' (cos ne rep supposed to record whenever a teacher teaches NE in subj lessons)

and ms tan's 'you all are sec 4s, i trust you all to hand up your homework one time. sometimes your poor bio rep have to bravely go and submit her one set of assignment to me.' hahahah(: CUTE(:

omgggggggggggg(osh) i totally LOVE SCHOOL. my teachers are all uber cute.

and my classmates too. 'eh, class. ms tan not coming today so you all take out your tb and revise bi-o okay!' and everyone will start laughing. like they will right. so i say also useless.

and also during CE, we were doing some self survey things. other ppl write one strength/weakness abt us and return to us. hahaha. mine was kinda hilarious.
half of them talked about being bio rep; and many said i was blur.
one said my weakness was that my hair was abit messy.
one said that i was emo at times... (i laughed)

oh yes. but it was really fun(:

school rocks. bcos of 4c and teachers of 4c(:

hey. ytd i went to subway again with avery and yvonne(:

ate the same thing. yay!

well, but i was kinda sad then as we looked thru our neoprints.

anw, then today met with chloe and yuxin to do sports day cheer, buzz@canteen performance. its was kinda fun!(: and it was a funny day(:

haha. yes okay. but i havent done my BI-O hw.... oh no. cos there's essay qn. oh roar

i love my family.

friends are difficult. i am quitte frustrated.

whats wrong with me. i'm sorry i hurt you kay. i really didnt mean to ignore you or whatever. but after while, i.. never mind. i'll try to adjust to you being there. its just different.

but up till now, all i can do is say sorry. i'm such a loser kay. i'll do my best, i'll try.

i know you're trying to be in every facet of my life, but its just too much. but how can i, i'm mean. roar.

how can you do something knowing that it will make your friend sad, even the smallest of matters.

if only i meant little to you; what alot of pain it would save you. i'm sorry. i'm a meanbean.

love one another, just as I have loved you. John 13.34b

am i able to reach that level.
i want to be like before again but, its much more complicated now.

i just want to take myself away from it all. i wished i never knew what friendship is. why does it have to be so complicated.

sometimes, maybe being on the surface is good. if not, when the roots are planted into the heart, it just hurts when you pull it out.

confused. joyyy. i miss you. i need aunt agony nowwwwww. hahaha(: i miss subway.

i miss subwaying with joy and her ms mash stories.

i miss avery and our funny hard/soft cookie escapade.

slowly, you start to drift away too. its too much, i only have two hands. who do i catch, who do i pull back. WHO.

last night, sth happened.
we had been hearing the soft mews of a cat near our house for the past few nights.

and then auntie (my maid) said she heard it again. so we checked in and out of the house.

the conclusion: the cat was in the HOUSE! on the ROOFTOP (attic there)

so my brave brave auntie and my dad climbed up to the attic and found, indeed a baby cat (kitten) and they said got other skeletons of other kittens (super FREAKYYYY!)

but anw, they brought the mewing cat down. and he was so thin and kept mewing.

they said he was going to die and wanted to throw him away.

my me and joshua didnt want to do so. even the tiniest of hopes, we did not want to give up. so we fed it milk and made a bed for it. it was barely palm size. he kept crying for his mother. but we think that his mother was caught and didnt come back as he was so hungry.

anw, he didnt drink much and we carried him to warm his cold body (can you imagine how cold it was in the attic)
then i realised how similar the situation was to that of us and GOD.

he never gave up hope on us, however much we continued to sin, we became from bad to worse.
he was always there for us. he brought out of the darkness and into the light. he lifted us gently in his safe secure arms. he was our savior. it was his mercy, his grace that he saved us.

thank you so much(:

roar.

today our family sat next to a person in sheng siong. he kept telling my father how blessed our family is. and he talked about his friend who died at little india (for some reason). then suddenly he turned to me and said that he prophesized that i was to be a leader. then he started to tell me about being a leader and how to succeed.

'the key to success is wanting to succeed, and not being the first.'
'do not be jealous, of peers who rise up better than you'
'whatever information you have, SHARE. becos knowledge is meant to be shared'

before ending the conversation, he said that i was not only to become a leader, but a corporate leader! O.o whats that anw. lol.

my mum said he might be doing black magic which made me raise my eyebrows.
my dad said nothing will harm you.
i thought: hey, i prayed right? everything should be fine. hahaha
my younger bro just continued living like nth happened.

LOL. weird family.(:

heyy(:

sorry for the previouis post. so emotional! lol

anw, i think i was just too overcomed after reading what she had said. but LET GO, LET GOD, yeah? right?

you are my shining star, my beacon of light

anw, its quite funny. yesterday, we had leadership workshop. it was rather fun as we had to play games! we had water games as our first station and got all wet. we used our skirts to fill up the pipes, like rags. so darn fun(:

i tell you, sherry. huiyu and cheryl really make life funny okay! they are so amazingly retarded. anw, cos during the course right, i wet my skirt, shoes and socks. so i had to run around barefooted which made me and priyanka feel like kampong people (as what hannah said) LOL!(: and even after the course our stuff were still wet. so in the end, i walked out with wet shoes. sooo gross. hahaha. anw, i went to the market with sheery! and i bought school shoes from her junior's grandfather's shop(: yay! i support cedarian ppl family.

then while we were eating, i was very bored so smsed huiyu.
janice: eh, huiyou! you say want to buy shoes for me! hahah. then you zao and run away! i must be kiasu so can remind you of cheryl hahaha. (no offence to cheryl. cos cheryl didnt come so huiyu was so lonely.. emokid.:D)

huiyu: hahah, you never give me money ma cannot buy... and is you ran lor me and yuxin walked around the whole sch finding ms lizah's mailtray cos we thought we din see it at humans there in the end we went back after walking around whole sch then saw. hhaha, i think you 2 happily eating liao.

janice: yah. we eating duck rice at market! hahah, want to eat? mmm, so nice! hahah, must tempt you and yuxin! sherry says hahah retardedly.

huiyu: diao. yuxin go home alr and i go home eat my mum cook de delicious home cooked food lor. hahaha, duck rice high cholesterol later i get the coronary heart disease. you ask ms tan or you, the bio rep, help me ar. lolx.

sherry typed: ya. later i help you from coronary heart disease become liver cirrhosis then die. then cheryl cannot meet you anymore and heartbreak in pulau ubin. hahah.

huiyu: eeyer... (i dont want to type what she said.. hahaha)

stupid right? the bio part! is called making use of what we learn in lessons! :D so funny

'blinking back the tears' very emo meh.

many times, thats what we do. dont we?

i'm confused. i want to tell someone whats happening to me. i want someone to tell me whats wrong with me.

maybe its true then. silence is golden.

maybe i just dont get along well with people.

but then again, whats the point.

do i seem childish to you? to many people, i'm just a lame, retarded person. i wonder if anyone really will miss me if i tried to be serious all the time. its just not me.

you do matter alot to me you know. but, i guess the best way to love sometimes is to let go. are those words you wrote on your valentines' day card true? i need someone who will tell me my faults, so i can change. whats wrong whats wrong what wrong.

wait, you're right. i'm getting all emotional again. LOL. but wait, humans do have emotions what.

anw, today was quite a weird day. went to sheng shiong to eat and my family sat next to a man.

after a while, he turned around and started to talk to my father.
'you're really blessed.' he said.
after talking for a while, he started to point at me which was quite freaky. then he said loudly, YOU. i prophesise that YOU will be a leader. and not just a leader, but a CORPORATE leader. i have no idea what that means.

he said, 'the key to success is to want to succeed.' he emphasized the importance of maintaining good relationships. he emphasized on not being jealous of those who are better than you. he said, dont be selfish. whatever information you have, SHARE. bcos information is meant to be shared. so here i am, sharing what i have learnt from him. whatever it is, no matter if he is drunk or what, i really thank GOD. bcos right now, i need an assurance of who i am, whether what i am doing is right. at least he boosted my confidence. ahahaha.

but i guess, its always His Divine Intervention. that leads me on the right path. He is always there for me. i want to put it right again. i love You.

its a cruel cold hard world out there, indeed.

i never did occur to me how strong the scholars have been. if i was in their place, i would be wailing for home a long time ago. they really would miss home, i guess. if only i could do sth..

why is it that reading people's blogs, i get a very suan suan feeling. we used to be good friends. are we that close now? i mean, okay forget it. people change, feelings change, everything changes (but You, of course)

i'll admit, sometimes i really miss you all. i really do. missing the times we sat at second level empty corridor, singing chinese songs, waking up at 3am to clean prawns, or maybe just talking. but yet sometimes, i feel so distant, that i just wished that somehow we weren't that close.

its not that you* dont want to be close for that matter. but your attitude has changed. and well, not that its bad but i guess, you're just worried about your performance in school. i dont really have much to say anyway. but i just wanted to say that: you can still talk to me about stuff. even though i might not be the best person or 'ideal person' you would want to talk to. if you want lah, i guess i always have a listening ear. but then again, hahaha. new friends do make your life happier since you dont face as much problems (since you're with them for a shorter period) enjoy your sec 4 year lah.

and, i dont know why i am so mean. sometimes, i do neglect people. i am really sorry okay. our study group never did work out huh. hahaha. well, next tues! we'll see how again.

cca really is quite frustrating before it starts but once its starts, i'm happy like anything like that. maybe becos the people are really very nice. mr chua went like, 'eh friend' which resembled mrs chew so much that i couldnt stop laughing. hilarious.

i really really think sherry is so funny. even though we like to suan each other, in the end we'll both be okay. hahaha, she along with cheryl and hui yu always makes me laugh so hard okay. this kuku people. and priyanka too. she's sooooooo funny. gosh gosh.

today i was cutting my hair (trimming actually) in class. cos it was poking my eyes. and its super freaky lah. ahhahaha. KUKU.

oh well. i'm feeling a little weird these days. i think i seem a little weird these days. do i act weird? lol.

okay but anyway, i wanted to say sth but i forgot. ah, crap.

oh YES. i've been trying very very hard to memorise and do my QT. i want to fulfill my promise to myself.

oh and we've been training in gym. (: i feel stronger. no wait, let me rephrase that: i feel stronger bcos my muscles are aching every minute. does that make sense? hahahah. crazy.

i think i'm crazy. yzarc. yeah. nvm. hahaah, let me quote this and translate this: actually, deep down inside, everyone can act well. dont we? we do put on alot of acts right? when we're sad we cheng qiang, when we're angry we tolerate, when we get frustrated we pretend not to care. why. why. why. so ROAR. sometimes too much things will make you explode. hahaha, unless you talk about it! talk talk talk talk, neccessarily.

i feel a strange emotion inside of me. hahaha. i think i surprise myself. i always do stuff that surprises myself. like this sentence. because i'm surprised that i would actually say that since it would definitely means that i do not think before i act. lol

hello((:

i miss blogging LOADS. and i miss my seniors too!(: come back soooooooooon. we have to eat subway tgt okayyyy!(: hahaha.

anw, i went for OAC duty on thurs. in the morning. i left house at 7.30 there. reached choa chu kang mrt at 8.15 and was waiting for jia xin to come and she was sooooo late. tsk tsk. anw, then we wanted to take a taxi but no one knew where was bahtera track and then there's this uncle who knew but told us it was very far.. plus surcharge would be up to $15plus? gosh, so we anyhow whack, called jiaxin relatives to find out how to get there. so we came up with an ingenious plan. to take a bus towards that area, then at 9.30 once no more surcharge, then we go down take taxi. hahahah. so anw, we happy happy take bus and we did happen to reach bahtera the main road. but to walk in.... hehehe. and we saw lots of 'eternal resting places' around. so we linked our arms, preparing to walk down that long long strip of deserted road that would take us 20min to reach there. then our 'SAVIOUR'. a car! its mr eric tan one, with lin lao shi also hitching a ride. so yay, we're saved.

then lin lao shi asked us if we had planned to walk in, YES. if we had MAP, NO. hahahh, we're so PATHETIC.
but that place so sooo nice(: and the sky was so nice(: and the kayaking place the shore had lots of small crabs((: so cute! ahhhhh. i like(:oh yeah(: