aiyo. i feel so touched and sad suddenly.

i shall recount.

'mrs chew. can we ask you something? we heard sth big happened. what happened?' said avery.

mrs chew refused to give any news. but she said, 'wait for 11.20, you will hear everything from mrs ouyang's mouth'

11.25pm: in hall. waiting for arrival of P and VP. amidst the noisy chatter of those who did not know, i felt surprisingly jumpy. everytime the doors of the hall opened to reveal late students coming in, my heart sank. i really was going mad with the suspense of the news. everyone was saying about how ms ng and mdm faridah cried. mrs loy took last min leave from school too. the level heads, stood on either three sides of the hall.

then came in mrs ouyang. my heart beated erratically. 'our teacher, mrs serene ng... has passed away the night before....' my head spun. it was one of my assumptions. the others being retrenchment, poor prelims results, school closing down, PRIME being postponed... and one of them was also that someone had passed away. 'choi! touch wood.' said sherry.

it really happened. altho' i didnt know who it was, the atmosphere was really intense. super quiet. i couldnt stand the one min of silence. my mind really swirled as i prayed for her, her family. the fear of not knowing if she was saved. it was so scary. death

on the way out, i saw ______ cry so hard. my heart ached and ached. went back to class. mr chai told us to write notes. that he was still in shock. 'it was meant to be a happy occasion and it turned out to be a tragedy' i wanted to tear. but my curiousity of who she was got the better of me. mr chai looked so emo. then we (avery, sharmaine, me and sherry) asked him some qns about mrs ng.

maybe no other meaning but avery asked me this. 'what's her religion ah?' it comforted me to know that a non-christian would worry for her salvation but of course, perhaps it was just co-incidental.

mr chai said that, 'during the holidays, she had invited the teachers to her child's bithday party.' the teachers were all so sad. then i teared for her family. for her children. and i got away by claiming it was bcos my eyes were tired.

the next day, ms tan was in staffroom when i called her but she didnt pick up. ms sim popped her head and asked who we were looking for. we said ms tan. she said, ms tan not feeling well. even if ms tan wasnt feeling well, she could still have picked up the phone. sth they didnt want us to hear maybe? ms tan was still very sad. and it struck me again and again: someone had died. someone dear to our hearts. our sister/auntie in the Cedar family. we are a CEDARIAN family. it hurt me to hear that. i imagined if this happened to one of my family members. and i was so heart-ache. (xintong) and i teared

then i incidentally crossed someone's blog. and i realised the impact mrs ng had made on them. when they attended their wake. and i teared again. i cant stand it. so sad!!! grah. i feel so xintong for those who were close to her. and mr ng was so strong... and i read about how the child's bday was the death anniversary of her mum... i felt so heartache now.

the contribution of a teacher..

the contribution of all teachers.

thank you. i kept singing, 'cause its teachers' day and we want to thank you for your precious touch, for all that you've done.... we want to say we love you...' unknowingly.

i tell you. i am super telepathic can. and all my dreams are coming back again. weirder than ever. gosh!

you know, the last time i blogged, i said that i dreamt about yvonne finding out friendship token? yeah, on the very next day, she was just randomly hunting around the school and she found it! wow. i'm damn pro lah. hahahah. i inherited joy's telepathic dreams(:

a few days ago, i dreamt that me, yuxin and daphne was at my house kitchen. then we were talking about some BIO stuff. yes, BIO again. then yuxin went, 'eh. eh. eh! the nephron (or neuron)...... right right right janice??' and she tugged on my shirt. i went huh? and then they were like nvm. then we changed the topic and talked about other bio stuff. HA HA.

then the night before, i dreamt that my mother bought a dog! gosh! and she doesnt really like dogs lah. but the dog was really cute tho'

then last night, the ultimate dream. when i recalled it, i couldnt stop laughing. i dreamt that i went for this entrepreneurship course. then a man came in and addressed himself as prof chang kee. he was the person who started the old chang kee franchise! then he started saying how he had made this small business into a success lah. then after that, i was inspired by him and went to talk to him after the seminar. then i intro myself as from cedar. then he said, 'really? my daughter is also from cedar!' i went, 'really? what's her name?' and he went 'my daughter is chang lee joy! you heard of her??' then i woke up. omg! hahahahah! mad dreams.
and i realised. the similarity about prof chang kee and joy! cos chang kee and chang lee is almost the same. so can be father and daughter! so cool right!

omg. i am going bonkers. the night before, i tried to wake up early to study. i slept at 10.45pm, woke up 3.30am, did hw till 5.30am, went to sleep at 5.30am, then woke up at 6.30am! hahahaha. my erratic sleeping time. then i was so retarded ytd. i slept at 6++, woke up at 8++, ate dinner and abit of hw till 10.30pm and sleep till 3.30am. then i woke up, dont know why. then i decided to sleep a while longer and woke up at 4.30am. then i went back to sleep, deciding not to study. and woke up at 6.30am. and i realised that it was quite late alr. HAHAHA. retarded!

hello(:

i want to be a jellyifsh. so i can go bloop bloop bloop under water.

so free so easy,
just floating around,
i'm a jellyfish,
making blooping sounds(:


this could be the start of something new;
it feels so right to be here with you.

i miss my seniors! i cant wait for after exams(:
hahah, i'm so gonna fail my exams. i started abit on physics, none on bio and chem, abit on geog, abit on amths, EMs sec 3 topics, none on ss.

hahaha, lets die.

i miss my seniors alr.

i want after exams

we're breaking free
soarin', flyin'
there's not a star in heaven that we cant reach(:

lets hear my nonsensical dream again:

i dreamt that we went out as a GOONG family, as in all of us. then i think i came late or sth. then i suddenly ran up to yvonne and said, 'shin-jun, have you found our friendship token?' -holding up mine- then she gave me the sad face and said no. then i woke up. its was so immediate okay! and after waking up, i had this feeling that i found it alr.

its sure to come,
perhaps one day soon,
some call it the end,
some say we're doomed

conflicts between countries,
terrorists attacks frequent,
natural disasters like earthquakes,
people dying every second.

its starting to happen,
evil is rampant,
the shakes are here,
and i'll say, the day is near.

(x

today, i had two dreams!

my first dream:
i dreamt that my class was on a bus. and we had gone on a magic-school-bus kinda trip with ms tan! hahahah! so i think we were so enthu about everything. then ms tan was trying to teach us some bio facts. but one of us suddenly started singing HI5 songs! and everyone followed suit. then the whole bus was erupting with HI5 songs and ms tan tried to get us to listen but we refused to and just kept on singing. until she was exasperated that she cried. then after that, i dreamt that i felt so mean. and i went home and put as my msn nick, 'i am a bad bio rep for making ms tan cry' HAHAHA! gosh, i think i'm mad.

my second dream:
i dreamt that i was in some rented HDB room. then suddenly got fire! so i ran out of the house! then suddenly i rmbed oh wait, my luggage! so i ran back, opened the gate and the door and took my luggage. then locked the gate and the door. then i realised that my luggage is empty. -.-' so i ran in and opened gate and door and got my stuff out. and i ran out and locked everything. then i met some guy. then i told him that its on fire. so then he ran in, opened the gate and door and went in to get his stuff. then i realised that its just some altar in the house that got some burning fire thing? yeah.

this dream i dont understnad. perhaps i rented a room in this flat so the owner had a altar thats why and i'm not used to it. gosh, i cant believe this. i dreamt two dumb dreams today! gah!

hello.

i'm in a bad mood today. cos i lost my wallet. ):! there's no money inside but just lots of memories.. like neoprints. i'm so sad! and i'm also sad cos i forgot my friend's bday. how could i?! ):! i dont know! oh well.

bloop. forget it. let's be happy instead. oh, crap. i realised i broke my blog once a week rule! forgive me, 'self-discipline' i didnt mean to lose you!

yay. see i solved all my probs.

ZAI ME!

okay 50laps@cedar. nth much, just made me think alot. was this really the CEDAR spirit? we didnt even know half of the cheers they cheered hmpf. anw.

i loved sitting in the school hall, singing HI-5 songs!

like O-P-P-O-S-I-T-E and 'there's a party. WHERE! at our house! you're all invited! where! at our house!' HAHAHA. and 'the five senses one' and not forgetting powerpuff girls! hahaah. priyanka gave me the weird face. haahah. poor sherry got flu! i hope she didnt get it from me. i'll feel so bad! i passed it to zoey too! hmpf. anw, CAUSE IT'S TEACHERS DAY! and WE WANT TO SAY, 'WE LOVE YOU' so sweet can((: i like!

cheryl is so nice and funny(: ppl who dont know her, shouldnt make assumptions(: she's probably nicer than you all mean beans anyhow!

and happy seniors'/teachers' day! cos my seniors taught me ALOT(: my 34-cm marshmallow chain((: specially for all of yall(: jia you for O' levels((: you all must aim for space okay! so you can hit the moon or the stars or sth. dont hit the sun kay(: i dont think there's msn there. then i cant talk to you alr

okay. i'm back. to tackle my probs. haha. i really love voice of truth and he will carry me and take me back((:

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

i wont let the devil GET ME DOWN((:
okay.

first things first. dont think the problem is bigger than GOD. HE's bigger than everything and every situation.

okay.
prob 1) homework pile, revision
i've done all my homework except: ban yue ji, compre, chinese paper, qns on volumetric analysis, some unfinished SBQs.
i've started on EM revision first few chapt for EYE. nth else.

prob 2) yvonne, zoey and me
me and zoey is okay(: love you zoey!

me and yvonne is talking now! love you too yvonne(:
dont feel insecure. cos after all, we're just friends! lets not make relationship complicated. we'll be good friends.

to both: anything sad we'll just tell each other. anything bu shuang we'll also tell each otehr. BUT. i must study also. i must be able to get enough rrest. and cannot chat chat talk talk so much alr.

prob 3) QT and memory verses
okay. i admit, i've not been doing QT. and i've been a very naughty christian. i love GOD so i'd better change and get better(: i must do QT really. maybe i should get more interesting QT materials cos the FOP's free QT material is so... non-understandable. HAHA! please motivate me too!

prob 4) CCA
okay. sec threes dont like to play games. sec twos like to play games.
sec threes prefer photography assignments. so combine games with assignments? one more thing: sec threes dont like the forfeits but gurvin loves them. have forfeit when necessary(challenge needed) and not overdo it. but, overall, sec twos and threes loves jokes. HAHAHA. why did the trees fall down? hahaha. okay.

prob 5) i cant cook.
i was supposed to bake a cake just now. i think i'm so diao. bake one at 10pm. and anw, it just finished cooking and i realised that inside havent cook but my parents are sleeping. so forget it. HAHAA.

prob 6) my schedule
i worked out that in a week, i only study for about 10 hours? or to say the truth about one hour a day only. so, must:
-dont blog (restricted to once a week)
-msn (use msn only for work purposes/stress relief. strictly no 'grandmother stories')
-go out
(go out to study.
no movies (only once in two months).
to pei2 ppl (only if really very free no hw no tests),
to eat? (can lahhhhh(: ppl also need to eat mah! hahahah. i think i'm so greedy.))

study more!

prob 7) seniors are leaving! ):! no more joy , no more IDOL, no more crazy rippers, no more larry, no more HOT, no more asparagus, no more etc etc, SONG whatever! ):! no more seniors. no TWIG too!

):! i will miss my IDOL alot alot alot (x one mole, which is 6.0x10 to the power of 23) and joy and anan alot alot alot! my nicest seniors ever(: the ppl that make me smile retardly at the computer screen or at my hp screen. i dont want to ever forget you ppl

prob 8) i'm so retarded.
i like to go bloop this few days! and i finally found out where i heard it! its when got pop-up window, then the fire wall goes bloop! cool right! my firewall can make sound. i talk to wall, wall reply me with a bloop bloop! wah, so cool lah!

this one cannot help one. being retarded is my ben3 xing4! HAHAHA(x

see. now right, i see my prob as

okay. me and yvonne have come to a retarded conclusion:
i'm tigger and she's rooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

HAHAHA. she's retarded. lets go BOING BOING tgt! ((: