fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Saturday, June 9,7:30 PM

it's so tough growing up. i really, really. sigh. i still feel like a child. work is scary, don't want to talk to CEOs and managers. ): can't seem to picture them as just mere people like you and me. )': when am i gonna grow up. its so difficult to adapt to changes. always been pretty resistant towards it. i hate it when i realize it, that i'm not as okay or as good as i thought. HAHA, oh well. welcome to reality.

i want to give up but my mind reminds me how it will train me to think like an adult and learn to speak better. need to stop being so afraid, need to be more confident of myself. God, be with me.

Yesterday's verse was Philippians 1:2, 'Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.' It really moved me to tears. I was really excited about my job actually and only when they made me do calls that I felt this fear. But other than that, I think God really calmed my heart before work. He was really assuring me on the way to work, promising to give me grace and the peace to do my job and to watch over me.

I've yet to receive full grace and peace though, don't think its possible to experience it fully in the moments that I stop focusing and relying on God. I need to seek him more, to trust in him fully. The moment I think about the enormousness of the task, my mind overexaggerates and the anxiety starts all over again. For Philippians also says, 'Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.' Amen.

Really think this is an amazing verse that can really lead you through anything in life. God has promised us his presence.

Sorry God, for not keeping my eyes on you the entire Friday. Sorry for being so out-of-it and terrified by man when you are the only one I should fear. You are the sovereign, all-powerful one, the one who controls my fate and my life and my salvation in the palm of your hand. Not any CEO, not any President, not any bosses. In fact, they are nothing compared to You. Just mere people that's all.

Thank you God for always being so good and so faithful to me. For always being there although I'm always distracted by everything. Thank you for always bring me back to you and sustaining me all through my life. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to really trust wholeheartedly in you and rely on you. You are my God and I should fear you, not men. If I can talk to you, if my God can be like a best friend to me, I can do anything else for I know you are with me. And if you are with me, who dares be against me. MUAHAHAHAHA. :D

You are good, all the time. And though I may not understand all the plans you have for me, my life is in your hands. And through the eyes of faith I can clearly see, God is good all the time.

This song just came to my mind, what an amazing declaration of His faithfulness. (:

I feel so amazed. Really. The peace I feel is immense, crushing almost. HAHAHA, nevermind. I am happy.

Last night was amazing fun. Although I ended work late and had to rush down to ECP with no dinner, and got lost and walked ten thousand miles to get to CycleMax. I survived at least 40-50km of cycling! (: Hurray. Hahahahaha and had loads of fun splashing and cycling through puddles of rain on the road. Enjoying the cool of the night although now I'm slightly cold and flu-ish. Heheheheh, happy though. It was fun.

Teeheeheehee. :D Felt super happy and sweet. Was nice going crazy and high again. Hahahaha, yay. (: