fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, November 27,5:11 PM

I am sad. )): Roar.

I miss my nearly-best friend.

Sigh.

On a second note though had a nice talk with my parents. Which depressed me as well. Yes we are very blessed by God's grace but we have problems too. Ah.

Such a dull and cold day. Actually I feel okay. Kinda happy actually. Today was quite fun. ((: Had BAG. Love them. :D

Miss my P1 kids though. Ah bi so cheeky hahah.

Sometimes I feel like life is so unpredictable. But it makes me upset to think what will happen if they leave. What will happen to the family then. Can we still hold ourselves together without them? Shit. I am really growing up.

I also need to save money for my family in the future. Yes I am thinking abit far but I trust God that he has plans for me to marry and I can't wait. Now just to meet a guy who loves me and tries to love God as the centre of his life and also wants to lead a family. I only have these three criteria but I think they are very difficult to meet haha. I'm just being idealistic. Need to find someone with hints of these characteristics I guess. And pray that together we can work towards building a God-fearing family.

Actually that's all I want from life. It ain't wrong right? But it's so difficult to attain. Hahahah.

Yet on another note I need to learn to be less stubborn and more submissive. 0_0 My friends give way to me waaaay too much. How to be a gentle and graceful wife omg. Hahahahaha I'm damn noisy.

I was so upset this week. Seriously. Exam week I know. But I realized everybody ignores me. Even when I'm saying a valid thing. Shucks, is that counted as attention seeker? Need to self check abit more. I really don't know how to live my life and be myself.

Sometimes I feel like I have no friends which is such a sad thing. I am an idiot who thinks that just because people ignore my messages they don't love me. La la la la. Need to stop dwelling on such senseless things and catch up with my other friends. ((:

I have no idea whether I'm living my life correctly leh. Not sure whether it's biblical or not. But I don't know. Life's still not a smooth path to walk even so.

Why is it that things which once appeared as a potential true friendship always become cui. Hahahaha darn my English is quite fail. But yeah. I don't even know why I'm upset.

Need to commit it to God's hands. I think I'm backsliding a little. Becoming like the Pharisees. Always with the right answers and knowing what to do. But it's so difficult to trust God and commit it to Him without worrying about it at all. ://

Can we try again?

I'm sorry Father.