Suddenly feel like I miss home so badly. Ugh.

Home. We were singing this song today with the beneficiaries. It felt so right. Because where they were they felt accepted and loved.

And actually we're not very different from them. We also long to be accepted and loved. I just.. I don't know. Is SMU home for me? Really? I miss home right now.

Just hearing my parents on the phone telling me how Joshua was asking for me was kinda upsetting. I miss them so much. I feel like I've neglected them honestly.

Just like how I've been neglecting bible study and QT. It's just so so difficult honestly. :/ As I'm sitting here I thought I heard some singing. Devotion practice or something. 'I love you Jesus. I love you Jesus. I love you Jesus. And I'll worship you always.' That song. That boy I met at iSOW. His passion and desire for Jesus was fully displayed in that simple song. And something struck a chord in my heart.

All my lfe I've been saying that I love Jesus and I want to shine for Him. Today I realized, am I really doing that? I just feel so battered up. So discouraged. I don't know what to do.

So I'm just going to go to church and figure out what's my next step from there. Ask for His will and His guidance over my attitude through the rest of the camp.

Dear Father, I am calling out to you. Will you help me? For you said, 'Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.'

So I claim that promise.