fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Sunday, August 7,6:07 PM

Pride. :/

Today at church we learnt an important lesson. That pride actually comes out of having a lack of faith. A lack in faith in God by not submitting to the identity He has given you and instead trying to create one based on your own merits.

I don't know. I think many times I'm quite prideful when it comes to how I live. Ironically. I think I know all the right things. The right answers. What people should do or say to be socially successful. Yet this week I learnt how foolish I am to think that. I realized how much more I still have to learn. From my peers, my seniors and my leaders. They are put together with me for a reason. So that I can learn from them. So that I can improve the way I interact. So that I can build stronger friendships. So that we can help each other to grow and become better people!

And it's strange cause I feel like the mother-hen many times. Where I feel the need to protect my friends and groupies. But yet since I've let my tiredness get in my way, I kinda pushed myself out of their group. What arrogance to believe they'll accept me back whenever I want. I've learnt that you must know your chicks. To love them all at all times, tirelessly. Not to give up for we will reap a harvest in due time. Only then will they recognize you and come close to you. If not you would seem more like an imposter who is trying to blend in with them or boss them around.

I am truly tired and I pray that it will not affect me and my attitude towards the camp. I pray that God you give me your joy and your strength to keep going. To keep persevering in loving the ones you've put me in place to love, to protect the ones you've called me to protect. Jesus you are my strength when I am weak. Please be my support in SMU. My crutch. I want to be totally dependent on you God. I want to live life in the Light of Christ.

But I'm so sorry that I fail so badly. I think I'm doing alright then the wave hits me and I realized I'm still not groused enough. And I'm knocked off the ground, set adrift in the vast ocean. Save me from myself and my pride. I am willingly to cling onto you like a limpet. I acknowledge that I will fail cause the heart of man falters.

Yet I thank you for your never-ending mercies. For by that we are titled as Winners. Champions. Victory is ours. You perfect my imperfections Jesus. Your blood covers me and makes me whole again. Thank you Lord!