Gosh. I really have changed. Was reading all my past posts and I just sounded so much more happier, so much more different. I've been neglecting what really mattered to me.

I guess I've been trying to convince myself that early childhood was THE route for me. But now I'm hesitating. The teachers have been convincing us that we're so young and that we should at least get a degree in something first! Which actually makes sense to me, rather than working all the way up to the top.

It's been 53 days since I started working at Ascension Kindergarten as a support teacher. It's been damn fun actually, meeting my crazy colleagues who make me laugh like mad. Hahahah, the funny exchanges between Bi and Zhao laoshi. Hahah, gosh seriously. And all the funny stuff the children do. Epic. Noahhhhhh, hahaha. He was staring at his own reflection in the mirror for like almost half an hour without moving omg. With the same stoned expression he had on his face. And when we started laughing at his epicness he started staring at our reflections in the mirror at the corner of his eyes. Damn freaky, seriously. But so cuteeeeee.

Hahaha and recently I got him to laugh teehee. He has superawesomefantastic dimples!!! Hahah so cute omg.

I just love it when the children gives you hugs, or smiles at you, or wants to hold your hand. The most satisfying I guess is seeing them leave the comforting embraces of their parents and enter the playroom without crying or screaming. It's so nice to see them grow up and also to treat school as something enjoyable. :) I really love all the children and I really want to see them grow up! Through Nursery next year and K1&2. Not even sure if I will stay in Ascension for that long la. :(

But yes, I love the children. They're so freaking cute in their little ways. How some of them are so energetic and joyful. How one girl is so greedy she stuffs the entire pandan cake/bread into her mouth LOL. Like seriously the entire thing and she uses her entire palm to push it in. I mean, GOSH!!! No one's gna take it from you. HAHAHA.

And the OHYES!! moments when you succeed in stroking YongNe to sleep. Hahah, he's this Burmese boy who can't speak or understand English. He doesn't even know his own name la. Hahah, but the way he messes up the entire playroom. Going from one corner to another just grabbing stuff, bringing it to another corner and dropping it and taking out more toys. Thank God for his pretty eyes if not I think I'll just spent the day trying to run away from him and his mess. By the way he's like some leaking tap. o_o Hahah drooling saliva until his entire shirt is wet. Yes gross I suppose. But hey, he's a baby.

:) Oh yeah and of course the moments whereby you succeed in stopping the kids from crying and letting them become more independent. :) I really enjoyed these few weeks here.

But really not sure whether this is the route to take as it is very long. And the pay is so damn low. It'll never exceed 2.5K? (Even with the degree) Yeah, thats like the starting pay other graduates get. The only difference is that their pay still has increments. Sigh.

Wanted to idk, revoluntionize the curriculum but I guess, I realized how little there is to change because the most important thing for children in their early years is to have someone to talk to. If you keep doing that, it'll develop their capacity to speak and understand. But curriculum-wise, there's nothing much I can do for prenursery.

Oh but then again I realized I've only been at prenursery (and nursery for a while) so maybe the older children face a different situation. Hahah, I think it really is enjoyable la.

But hmm for now, thinking of taking an interesting degree course like psychology as I could always enter the Childcare industry later on in life.

I've been backsliding and I really want to get back on track with God. I shall do my daily verses. And also fasting dinner to spend an hour with God.

Right now I've got to prepare lessons for Sunday School. Which is actually quite difficult. I'm not really sure actually. I find it quite difficult to sustain the childrens' attention even though I plan games and stuff. I think its because I tend to be rather easygoing with them so they try to push my limits to see how far I can go. But also, I feel rather sad for them. Some of them have family problems and I really need to pray for them. I can really see that they're hurting inside. If only there was still Seremban to help them heal. Wonder if House of Joy would want us back. Hahah and now that Ps Jabez is in charge.. o_o

Ohwell. I feel so much better now that I've penned these down.

There's this song I learned at the Kindergarten: