fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Thursday, February 25,10:41 PM

k hiiiii. the past few days have just been like. "E_E" hahaha yeah.

i dont know la. today's been quite screwed up and messed up. discouraged. downcast. not really confused. but more of like. o_o errr k halp. hahaha. nvm. anyway wish i knew what was happening. but nvm.

i broke two beakers today (y) way to go janice!! $8. wow. hahaha. quite the fail. but was quite stoned. i realised i no longer panicked when i broke stuff/about to. quite freaky sometimes. that i'm not even responding fast enough to such stuff lol.

in any case, both mdms probably sensed sth was wrong with me. didnt bother me that much. haha. like i didnt do anything for design prac at all (and still broke two beakers. epic win) anyway. yeah but mrs tay didnt scold me. :D and even when i broke two beakers, mdm reena: "nvm la, no need to record" haha super nice la. but still did in the end.

i realised. how clumsy i am. cause a few names above my "newly added" name on the list, there was "janice tay. broke 400ml beaker. $4.00. paid" hahahaha. (y) i wonder how much the bio lab earns from me la.. hahaha.

but yeah felt super down and stuff. self-defeating thoughts. well, i forgot. today. i didnt, z. didnt read the bible cause my heart wasnt right. i was distracted by my parents talking in the car. well and yeah, i just. gave in.

i went from moping about tok op. like how fail it is that we're still considering changing topics to wl and how i cant do english for nuts. o_o yeah. stop that. get behind me.

in any case. then on the way home, was with some acsi year 8 guy. he was sharing about Christianity. (: was quite fun listening to him!!! could really hear how much he loves God and seeks after Him!!! wow. learnt so much from him! his joy, his faith, his foundation. hahaha. really touched my heart, to hear His sacrifice once again. really quite refreshing. (:

asked him a few questions. i'm gna take his advice. i'm sure he was there for a reason. i dont think i'd have talked to him at all on normal days. haha. (: thank you, Abba Father.

Daddy, Daddy. (: Your grace, well its more than sufficient for me. help me always, to remember that.

take Your rightful place, the throne of my heart once again.

i need to surrender. i need to keep being diligent in seeking You. its an active commitment, not a passive thing.

humans are so fallible. we fail so much. but because we're in Christ, we're assured of our victory.

been asking for people to pray for me. (: well, haha i really understand now how fellowship is really important. really learnt a lot from that guy. (: his knowledge in the Word was really strong too. (: wow. He really speaks. (through that guy)

help me to remember. really. everytime i seem down, please. give me a verse. a bible verse. a verse from a song. a prayer. (: remind me of His grace, thats ever sufficient. and the best thing is He never changes and promises to love us.

and in You, everything complex becomes super simple. this is where simplicity comes in. its when you allow God in. (: