fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Friday, February 19,6:53 PM

hi. at yuen's house now. o_o

i dont know what to say. lol.

the feeling isnt right. whats wrong. i think i'm falling sick soon. ): z.

sometimes i really dont know whats going on around me. first, everythings alright. then everything starts crashing. starting to lose sth, how do i put this, consciousness? sometimes i feel like, i'm just floating. i really, am. extremely tired. i'm really crashing. okay fine, maybe just now. i feel like i'm crashing lol. but seriouslyyyyy.

i dont understand chem, cant catch up with bio, english z, econs just like huh?, maths... whats happening. i cant lose focus now. but then again, am i really?

whats my focus. wasnt my life always about people. but ironically, i'm failing at exactly that. k i dont know what i'm talking about.

sometimes i dont dare to take so much, cause you know there'll always be expectations. so please, stop giving me so much. i really cant live up to it.

on another note, i really have to thank ian for his encouragement lol. yup. thanks for putting up with my nonsense even though it confuses you like mad, and stuff. gah, but like i said above. mm. nvm you know.

and, trust. well. you're right. so much information passing around without you yourself knowing that its being circulated. i suppose it cant be helped. but still, extremely disturbing. in often more ways than one.

ALSO on a side note, (LOL yes extremely complex thought processes. tubules rmb. hahaha. nevermind) i guess i do agree with you. the dangers of msn. not really about it not being true/unreliable, imo. but more of, gah idk. sigh, just. wish that. z. just feeling quite displaced.

was feeling quite. err displaced today. lol. but after i remembered my place in this world, i started to feel hopeful! a title that will never change unless i force His hand. check the profile tab on my blog! haha. (: yeah, keep remembering.

a few other things i was thinking about as well. focus. i barely know what it means now. i lost the ability to prioritize. work/people. and then again, have i? i guess it raised another question in my mind. how do i choose who has priority. just really tired. when everything kinda contradicts.

i need my mum's simplicity of mind. please. (: let me be happy. no, rather, joyful.

but seriously, to those who have given me so much, thank you.
smses, msn conversations, blogposts, whatever. those who have given me so much affirmation and concern and never giving up on me. thanks. (i guess you're right. a lot of interaction is online. no matter whether its for good/bad.) k i really express myself horribly. lol.

trachelizo.