okay seriously,
trachelizo. letting everything be exposed/bare.
1. actually, maybe i am not confused. i just think too much. so i should stop doing that.
the question raised here would be, so what is to be thought about.
bringing me to the next thing.
2.
"Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise worthy - meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8 i think. okay, there you go. remind me of this. negative self-talk is a no no.
just to address a few stuffs.
3. sometimes i feel thrown off from left to right by people's moodswings/changes in behaviour. e.g. noisy --> quiet. i bet people get thrown off a lot by me too. as i change from meditative on the right things (Spirit-filled) to chaotic when i think about things of this world. well, what i need to do is to remember that people cannot be depended on, fully (to some extent yes we can trust them) but yeah. cause they're fallible too. so,
"through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your Faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 trust in God, not others. cause He is faithful. (:
4. sometimes i feel lonely, when people just abandon me. or when disappointments just chokes our lives. but i have to remember that.
"Have i not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dimayed,for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."i always have a friend in Him and can always turn to Him for guidance.
5. i am quite chatty when i'm not using my brain. but when i am, i use it to think about complex stuff. err. well, so you might say that i change from extroverted to introspective quite a lot. hmm, just know that i'll always be there for you. if you have problems and need to turn to anyone. (: cause yeah, i do love you. seriously. "love as brothers [and sisters]" see. (:
6. i may seem quite secretive and sneaky sometimes. i'll work on that, please tell me why you think so and in what aspect. actually i am quite honest when it comes to how i feel. maybe seem quite ambiguous at times. but do ask me to explain if you dont understand.
7. this is an important point. errr. i preferred people to stay away. like not get to close. cause i dont want to waste your time, (i know some people may say stuff like its worth it but seriously.) dont waste your time on me. just let me know you're praying and thats very well appreciated. cause most of my issues are stuff you cant do anything about. you tell me your pov towards that subject, i'll just errrrr, feel more confused. but yeah, if you do, i guess i'll need evidence as well. (from the bible is a reliable source(: ) yup! so just pray. and tell me. "i'll pray for you" are the most powerful words ever. :D
8. i do get bored sometimes. z. forgive me if i was being cheeky/having fun and hurt anyone. if i set you up with anyone (e.g with ma. LOL.) i'm just kidding. o_o even if its true.. nvm ignore the last part. hehehe. okay. but i guess its not that funny after a while. and. i dont know. i'll try to stop. quite hard to, sometimes. when you're just asking for a poking. hehehe. but do know that i'm just kidding, dont take my words seriously especially if i'm smiling. LOL.
9. actually, i've kind of sorted out everything la. -___- just dont know whether to say or not to say. right? i dont know. i dont feel like i'm v troubled now lol. maybe now that all's been said and done. yup.
10. thanks david, err. i know i've apologized for reasons you should already know. and i'll try to keep my part of the deal too :D yay, hi bro/cousin. o_o like you, i'm gna be fighting my Goliaths. heehee. k all my Goliaths below and above this point. hahaha (y) gj janice. pray. for me. seriously. o_o thanks. be happy k little boy. :D
11. "On this day, God wants you to know...
... that the weight you carry on your shoulders is much too heavy for one human being. Give some of that weight where it belongs, - to God, and have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not"
i know some people think this is quite rubbish and stuff. but yeah, i'm really encouraged by this. thanks ian. oh yeah, thanks ian. :D for everything you're an awesomepawsome friend! hahaha. i'm so sorry too. err yeah, really am. i wna be as disciplined as youuuuuu (y)
12. hahaha, LGMH. hahaha seriously. ohgosh, :D heehee, so cuteeeeeeeeeee. he's damn sweet seriously. so. yeah. (: gives me hope. hahaha, hi God. dont forget me. lol, just kidding. of course He wont. probably finding a guy thats just as awesome as me, for me. :D hehehehe. doesnt matter. i'm only 17. :D
13. emptiness. o_o errrr. sometimes i feel that, okay fine i dont. z. i'm too confused to recognize that i'm empty maybe? haha i'm sure everyone feels this. hmm well, :D ask God to fill us up with love! (: my paster talked about vday today. hahaha really really agreed totally with him. guess its quite discouraging for him, seeing that so many people dont listen.
14. i feel really happy now. just blessed. really blessed. maybe i just needed to know that there are people praying for me as i float around in my thoughts. :D hahaha. so yeah. i guess this was the right way? lets try this out. this method to joy. (: it'll work.
15. differences sometimes, just let them be. not everyone's the same as us, not everyone thinks the same way. maybe we can share perspectives. but only if both parties are willing to listen. if not its pointless. the point is to be humble and listen. (: God's teaching me everyday, through every way.
16. woke up today with a happy dream. well, i felt happy. :D not confused or whatever. doesnt matter. dreams are dreams. they're not reality. actually, i dont remember my dreams. i just remember the feeling that comes with it. well, thanks anyhow.
17. my new blog name is trachelizo. well, it means to lay bare and exposed. just like how in this blog, i'm once again gna pen down my goals and the person i want to become. you may think it seems abit lofty for me to attain, well. keep praying. please do not discourage me, but rather, just pray that i'll succeed. (: anyway, AS I WAS SAYING (lol digress digress), i'll be revealing my weaknesses. and my aims to change. you may not see it happening in real life. but well, some people dont change their characters within a twinkle of an eye (:
18. i'll state this clearly. i DID NOT change my blog domain to hide. or anything. on the contrary, cause my previous method of penning down my desires of my heart- to become more Christ-like, disturbed people when they saw me failing to do as i wanted it to. i admit i fail, but. give me more time. i'm not perfect. definitely not. and well, i'm willing to admit my weaknesses. and i know i seem like i'm aiming for the moon. but why not, especially when i know who's backing me up. (:
19. i asked my cg to pray for me today. that i wont forget. the past victories which He granted unto me because of His grace. and the measure of faith He gave me. so that i may face up to the Goliaths i face today.
20. this is a super long post and most of you arent gna read through. but yeah. i'm just sorting out my thoughts. (:
21. this blog is not supposed to be secret or whatever. if someone asks for my blog address. well, tell them. discuss my blog, whatever. use it to edify people, encourage whatever. (that someone else is facing the same problems) we can all pray for each other.
okay i wanted to continue with point 22. but realised i'll gna go on forever. LOL. hahaha.
byeeeee!
your servant,
janice.
P.S. tell me my weaknesses too. i see myself differently from the rest of you. so yeah, like ian said. mirrors. tell me plz. dont withhold my image from me. if you know what i mean.
