fairytale/

Fairytale, really?
but it was never meant to be a fairytale. life's not perfect, life has its ups and its downs. what we have is more than a perfect story. we have a lifestory.

in life there's sure to be sorrow and disappointments. but its the darkness that makes the moon and stars shine brighter. and we know that through it all, we can trust that God's there for us. lighting up our life paths even at its darkest hours. bringing us unfathomable joy.
because He himself is Hope.

so here, trachelizo (v):
Laid bare and exposed.
each chapter, each episode recording genuine feelings and thoughts as a Child of God goes through the rollercoaster of life. and how the Grace of God still leaves her amazed and humbled, each time.

soaking prayer worship music

Thursday, September 20,10:00 PM

heart-wrenching.

aiyo. i feel so touched and sad suddenly.

i shall recount.

'mrs chew. can we ask you something? we heard sth big happened. what happened?' said avery.

mrs chew refused to give any news. but she said, 'wait for 11.20, you will hear everything from mrs ouyang's mouth'

11.25pm: in hall. waiting for arrival of P and VP. amidst the noisy chatter of those who did not know, i felt surprisingly jumpy. everytime the doors of the hall opened to reveal late students coming in, my heart sank. i really was going mad with the suspense of the news. everyone was saying about how ms ng and mdm faridah cried. mrs loy took last min leave from school too. the level heads, stood on either three sides of the hall.

then came in mrs ouyang. my heart beated erratically. 'our teacher, mrs serene ng... has passed away the night before....' my head spun. it was one of my assumptions. the others being retrenchment, poor prelims results, school closing down, PRIME being postponed... and one of them was also that someone had passed away. 'choi! touch wood.' said sherry.

it really happened. altho' i didnt know who it was, the atmosphere was really intense. super quiet. i couldnt stand the one min of silence. my mind really swirled as i prayed for her, her family. the fear of not knowing if she was saved. it was so scary. death

on the way out, i saw ______ cry so hard. my heart ached and ached. went back to class. mr chai told us to write notes. that he was still in shock. 'it was meant to be a happy occasion and it turned out to be a tragedy' i wanted to tear. but my curiousity of who she was got the better of me. mr chai looked so emo. then we (avery, sharmaine, me and sherry) asked him some qns about mrs ng.

maybe no other meaning but avery asked me this. 'what's her religion ah?' it comforted me to know that a non-christian would worry for her salvation but of course, perhaps it was just co-incidental.

mr chai said that, 'during the holidays, she had invited the teachers to her child's bithday party.' the teachers were all so sad. then i teared for her family. for her children. and i got away by claiming it was bcos my eyes were tired.

the next day, ms tan was in staffroom when i called her but she didnt pick up. ms sim popped her head and asked who we were looking for. we said ms tan. she said, ms tan not feeling well. even if ms tan wasnt feeling well, she could still have picked up the phone. sth they didnt want us to hear maybe? ms tan was still very sad. and it struck me again and again: someone had died. someone dear to our hearts. our sister/auntie in the Cedar family. we are a CEDARIAN family. it hurt me to hear that. i imagined if this happened to one of my family members. and i was so heart-ache. (xintong) and i teared

then i incidentally crossed someone's blog. and i realised the impact mrs ng had made on them. when they attended their wake. and i teared again. i cant stand it. so sad!!! grah. i feel so xintong for those who were close to her. and mr ng was so strong... and i read about how the child's bday was the death anniversary of her mum... i felt so heartache now.

the contribution of a teacher..

the contribution of all teachers.

thank you. i kept singing, 'cause its teachers' day and we want to thank you for your precious touch, for all that you've done.... we want to say we love you...' unknowingly.